Dobby Does Politics
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What if, the Right Dishonourable Tony Blair MP, PM and ARSE, were to have Dobby the House Elf inserted where the sun don't shine? Perhaps, at last, he might stop talking bollocks. The Dark Mark would fade, and life could start making sense again.

Dobby Does Politics

In the days following the revolution
the House of Lords and House of Commons will be swiftly converted into a theme park.
Liar Land.
One of the feature attractions will be the stuffed remains of all those scum-bag politicians
whose stupidity, greed and lust for power meant that they were unable to take part in
the new Democracy

Those who do wish to take part will be eligible to sit in the new House of Parliament.
This shall be a circular building located in the middle of the country.
Those duly elected shall represent their constituents first and political party second.
Members of the new Parliament will sit in alphabetical order,
according to constituency.

No one who expresses a desire to become and MP will be eligible to run for election.
Indeed, wishing to become an MP shall be deemed a sign of mental instability.

All citizens shall be treated as equals, regardless of age, sex, race or religion.
Those who transgress the boundaries of civilised behaviour,
shall be deemed responsible for their actions.
The common law will be, if you do the crime you do the time.
Vandals shall be set to work breaking rocks in quarries.
and one lawyer shall be hung each week in order to discourage the rest.

Finally, in the first days after the revolution the aristocracy shall be abolished,
and all monies and lands accrued by them returned to the people.
Disinformation will be made illegal,
and every citizen shall be encouraged to learn a golden rule for life.
The first such rule being; whenever a suit gives you an answer,
check out the question.

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Feedback: Nathan Brazil

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Jack Of None by Chopper Goodwood is an album featuring the original version of this song, (titled The Answers To Everything Pt.1), and is available commerically via www.peoplesound.com